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barry33


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Live from Plaster Rock
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Well here I am in my hotel in Plaster Rock NB at the World Pond Hockey Championship..hungover...sick...and using dial up to give you guys a report. We played our first game Thursday night. The Courtnall brothers were supposed to be our opposition but they turned yellow when they heard they had to play us and withdrew from the tournament. Just as well though. The boys and I have been training for this pretty hard the last month. Limiting our partying to 2 nights a week. Kirk Firlotte (my goaltending partner at STU) even brought his nephew along for the trip, mostly because we are all too fat to bend over and tie our own skates..,thus the nephew. When we got on the ice for our first game it occurred to us.. Duhhhhhhhh...Kirk says "Barry...we do not use goalies here..,the nets are like 6 inches off the ice..what are you and I doing here"?. This thought was pounded home during our 37-4 loss to a team of Ex NCAA players in our first game Thursday night. And you guys talk about the Canadian women running up the score? Actuallly. it could of been a lot worse. But during the half time intermission we introduced the boys from Boston to Our Captain. Morgan that is. Rather than the traditional water or gatoraide in our water bottles of course, we had the Captain and Coke. The boys from Boston college slowed down a tad after intermission...passes were not quite as crisp...(note..plan on introducing todays opposition to our Captain BEFORE the game starts). Our main concern? If the tournament committee ask for a urine sample for random testing from us..I suspect they may admit us to the local hospital as we should probably be legally dead. In fact, one of the snowblowers ran out of gas last night and Kirkey offered to pee into the gas tank.Sad part is it probably would have worked.


At any rate...Thursday night we went to the beer gardens after our tight game. And I met Brian Skrudland. A nice individual I have not met. Down to earth and even bought me a beer. He is now a sales rep for a natural gas company in Alberta. His team had just won something like 34-3. Another close one. For what it is worth, he agreed with me that the main problem in Montreal right now is in the dressing room.


So it was off to our second game on Friday. One problem (aside from  the jackhammer building a new road in my skull). Rain..there was a good 2 inches of water on the ice in places which played right into our hands..the slower the better right? It was funny. Of course..Barry gets right into it right away and falls...leaving a rooster tail of water behind me as I slid. Then Kirk falls (now boys keeo in mind..I have about 30lbs to lose..Kirk Firlotte has that with a one in front of the 3)...as Kirk fell and water sprayed up, the team from Japan were heard yelling "Look...Fwee Willy"! A pretty site it was not. But we persevered and won a tight defensive battle 28-24 (Hey Nilsy..you should be here...they need accountants to tabulate the scores!).


Skrudlands team was on the sheet next to us destroying another team from NB. The sad part is that even pushing the puck through water this guy was still impressive. And he was having fun with the fans, spraying them with water etc. He said to a reporter "Even a Leafs player would refuse to take a dive in this stuff". Nice one buddy!. So then it was off to the beer garden..again..alot of fun. Met up with some old opponents form my days in the AUAA (ATlantic University Hockey) and, just like the fat ladies get prettier at closing time, the tales of how badly we beat teams like St. Mary's and Dal got more dramatic as the evening wore on. The lowlight of the evening? They actually ran OUT of the Captain around midnite. Thankfully, we just happened to have a stash at the hotel (Stevey Adams, a guy on our team, is now a rep from the distiller..and he brought along 2 of those mega bottles..you know the ones that sell for 100 buck in the liquor store). Luckily..we had only just opened the second bottle


So now to today. It is now like 30 below so water will not be a problem but frostbite may...If you guys never hear from me again you will know that I have frozen somewhere in the Tundra in Plaster Rock. Mercifiully, we only have one game today and the playoffs are so far out of reach we need a map and telescope to see the other teams..so no game for us tomorrow. Tonite at the Beer Garden they have a band coming in..Kirk has been known to do a little Karaoke when he is "filled with the spirit", and organizers have assured me that the running out of Captain Fiasco will NOT happen again....ohhhhh the 4 hour drive home tomorrow will be long....



-- Edited by barry33 at 09:54, 2006-02-18

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Nil d


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There's a hotel in Plaster Rock?



Great report, Barry.  Try not to kill yourselves.


 



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jeanthehabtiste


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Barry, you are one lucky guy to get to this tourney!


Is it a little brisk out there? -31 here.



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barry33


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Update Saturday Afternoon- well we have decided one thing. If we come back next year, we will NOT be honest and list the fact that we all played university hockey. Because it appears that the organizers look at your experience and group you with similar teams. Today we played against some guys from Alberta. Talking to them over a coffee (yes coffee) after they pasted us 29-10 we find out that 2 are ex IHL players, one had a cup of tea in the NHL and the other played in Europe. Our team consists of 4 never beens, overweight, out of shape, and hungover, 2 of us goalies (which is absolutely NO good at this thing..you are not even allowed "lifties") Today, compared to yesterdays slush bowl was freezing..warning to homeowners in Plaster Rock tonite..bring the brass monkeys off the porch. So now we are free to party tonite without having to worry about a curfew...ya..like THAT bothered us before.  Some of the interesting things I have seen are:



  1. A team from Cleveland that appear to drink more than us..if that is possible. Today did the warm up in speedos...you have to remember that the windchill today was -41. Talk about shrinkage. Thankfully cooler heads prevailed and they put sweats on for the game.

  2. 2 families playing a game today against each other..one team called the "Outlaws", the other team the "Inlaws". Apparently all related through marriage. Inlaws won the game handily but a protest was filed. Apparently the Outlaws felt the Inlaws overstayed their welcome at the hotel last night..go figure.

  3. An all girls team from Toronto. Apparently they did not know who Kirk and I were, so we sat with them last night and had a drink and told them about our illustreous playing careers. They left when Kirk fell off his stool. No sense of ha ha whatsoever. Not sure if it was that or the fact that Kirk never showered after our game

  4. One guy fell and broke his wrist yesterday..he was back playing today in a cast with one hand. He cut his stick in half and played "polo style", just kind of golfing at the puck when it came near him. His team won!

  5. One team called the "Gorings". I am not sure where they found 4 helmets like that, but they all were wearing the old Butch Goring specials.

  6. The "Aliens". A team wearing antenae and And-O's spock ears. I swear to God. I saw those guys walking around at 1 am at the Beer Garden this morning and swore to myself I was giving up drinking.


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jeanthehabtiste


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Kirk falling off his stool is way too funny.


Did they really leave after that and why?...



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plouf


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barry33 wrote:
Update Saturday Afternoon- well we have decided one thing. If we come back next year, we will NOT be honest and list the fact that we all played university hockey. Because it appears that the organizers look at your experience and group you with similar teams. Today we played against some guys from Alberta. Talking to them over a coffee (yes coffee) after they pasted us 29-10 we find out that 2 are ex IHL players, one had a cup of tea in the NHL and the other played in Europe. Our team consists of 4 never beens, overweight, out of shape, and hungover, 2 of us goalies (which is absolutely NO good at this thing..you are not even allowed "lifties") Today, compared to yesterdays slush bowl was freezing..warning to homeowners in Plaster Rock tonite..bring the brass monkeys off the porch. So now we are free to party tonite without having to worry about a curfew...ya..like THAT bothered us before.  Some of the interesting things I have seen are:

A team from Cleveland that appear to drink more than us..if that is possible. Today did the warm up in speedos...you have to remember that the windchill today was -41. Talk about shrinkage. Thankfully cooler heads prevailed and they put sweats on for the game.
2 families playing a game today against each other..one team called the "Outlaws", the other team the "Inlaws". Apparently all related through marriage. Inlaws won the game handily but a protest was filed. Apparently the Outlaws felt the Inlaws overstayed their welcome at the hotel last night..go figure.
An all girls team from Toronto. Apparently they did not know who Kirk and I were, so we sat with them last night and had a drink and told them about our illustreous playing careers. They left when Kirk fell off his stool. No sense of ha ha whatsoever. Not sure if it was that or the fact that Kirk never showered after our game
One guy fell and broke his wrist yesterday..he was back playing today in a cast with one hand. He cut his stick in half and played "polo style", just kind of golfing at the puck when it came near him. His team won!
One team called the "Gorings". I am not sure where they found 4 helmets like that, but they all were wearing the old Butch Goring specials.
The "Aliens". A team wearing antenae and And-O's spock ears. I swear to God. I saw those guys walking around at 1 am at the Beer Garden this morning and swore to myself I was giving up drinking.


Great stuff!

Well Barry, you were already a legend during your playing days I'm sure. And this is the stuff a tell-it-all biography is made of. But to repeat what Nil is saying though, careful not to get to the tragic ending too quickly.

-- Edited by plouf at 00:58, 2006-02-20

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