Interview with Jose Theodore
A GoHabs.com Exclusive

In the wake of his surprise trade to the Colorado Avalanche, former Canadiens netminder Jose Theodore has a lot of baggage to pack. But working through his agents, Dickum and Howe, GoHabs.com was able to get a few minutes with Theodore for this interview. At Theodore’s request, the interview took place last night at midnight in the back seat of a fast-moving stretch limo.

GH: So, Theo, were you surprised at the trade?

JT: Not at all. I knew it was coming. I knew when I signed with the Habs that I wouldn’t stay here for long – I mean forever. Hockey’s a business. Players come and go. I came, and now I go.

GH: Did Habs General Manager Bob Gainey give you any indication that you were about to be traded?

JT: Well, when I told him that I had broken my heel skateboarding – I mean slipping on my front steps -- he told me not to worry about it. I took that as a sign that maybe he was shopping me around.

GH: What has the reaction from your friends and family been to the news?

JT: My friends? Oh, you mean like, those guys I hang around with? They’re not really my friends.

GH: And your family?

JT: I wish you guys wouldn’t keep dragging my family into this.

GH: What are you going to miss most when you leave Montreal?

JT: Paolo.

GH: Paolo – is he one of your friends?

JT: No. He’s my hairdresser. He runs Paolo’s Studio For Exotic and Extraordinary Maleness, over on Rue de la Poof. We’ve become very close over the years. Just the thought of his talented fingers running through my hair gives me goosepimples.

GH: Your hair does look nice. Are you using anything special on it?

JT: Only Paolo knows for sure!

GH: And what about the fans – will you miss the people of Montreal?

JT: I will miss Paolo, that’s for sure. And I will miss my paperboy, too. He was so nice. Anytime the sports page had something mean to say about me, he didn’t deliver the paper. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him in a long time…

GH: But what about the fans – the Canadiens faithful? Will you miss playing at Bell Center in front of all those knowledgeable hockey fans?

JT: There will be fans in Denver, I’m sure. They just won't be swearing in French.

GH: Have you heard from any of your teammates since the trade was announced?

JT: Well, Alex [Kovalev] called me, but I couldn’t understand anything he said. As usual. And Ribs [Habs forward Mike Ribeiro] also called my cell and left a message, but it sounded like he was at a disco or something. The music was very loud and there was a lot of giggling and squealing going on, so I’m not too sure what he said, either. Cristobal Huet also called me. He thanked me and said that the check was in the mail.

GH: One of the Montreal newspapers reported that there was cheering and the sound of champagne corks popping from your apartment when the news was announced on TSN tonight. Are you happy about being traded?

JT: What is happiness? Should a man be happy when he is no longer wanted in one place but he is wanted in another? I am happy that I have another bottle of Cristal in that ice bucket over there. Pass it to me, would you?

GH: What advice would you give to incoming goalie David Aebischer?

JT: I would tell him not unpack right away.

GH: Are you looking forward to playing for the Avalanche?

JT: Well, I’m not really going to be playing for them – not for a while at least. I hope to be back on the skateboard – I mean back on the ice – in a month or so. And then we’ll see how things go. I am looking forward to having Rob Blake playing in front of me. And Joe Sakic. And Alex Tanguay. And Milan Hejduk. And Pierre Turgeon.

I’m also looking forward to starting over with a new goals-against-average. It will go back to zero when I move to Denver, you know, so that will be a good thing.

GH: Will you keep the number 60 when you suit up for the Avs?

JT: That’s a good question. I don’t know. I always wanted to be number one, but that wasn’t possible in Montreal. Do you know if they have the number one available in Colorado? If not, then maybe number two.

GH: What will your goals be in Colorado?

JT: Well, I already have the Hart trophy and the Vezina trophy, so I was thinking that the Masterton would be nice. Or maybe the Lester Patrick, since I’ll be playing in the U.S. That’s a good looking trophy.

GH: Are you glad that you’re going to a western conference team, Jose, and won’t have to play against the Canadiens very often?

JT: Oh, I don’t know about that. I think that if I could play every game against my old teammates my goals-against average would be a lot lower, you know?

GH: Do you think you can help the Avs win a Stanley Cup?

JT: Excuse me? I didn’t hear what you said. Let me turn this iPod down.

GH: What I asked was, do you think you can help the Avs win the Stanley Cup?

JT: Oh, that thing. Well, it would be nice, I guess. But I learned early on not to set your goals too high. If we do, that’s great. But if not, I will still be able to fly Paolo out once a month for a touch-up.

GH: One final question, Jose. Why would you only agree to do this interview in a speeding stretch-limo? We’ve crossed the Pont Cartier 12 times now by my count.

JT: Well, you see, I owe my dad a few loonies and…